[]__blOggiE__[]
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
wanted to write up this as I wanted to get it off my chest or I will feel very uneasy and uncomfortable...couldn't care any more about my 'face'...all this started after Chemistry lesson about QA....was walking down with Marcus and ran into his CCA teacher and they chat for awhile..meanwhile..two of my friends came down as well and was asking me where Yee Ting was...at the same time..pointing behind secretly...was wondering at that point in time..."who is actually behind her that she wants to tell me about?" at the next second...SHE came down as well..directly behind...than I was totally stunned..."OMG!! why has she gotta appear at this time..." as I'm not mentally prepared..( prepare for? didn't know what to prepare either) if my eyes didn't lie...SHE waved at me or something...didn't really know what to say but just said "Hi, ****...!" one thing here that makes me feel very awkard for a reason...guess I didn't have much eye contact with HER when I greeted her back....was thinking " wasn't I rude that I didn't look directly at HER when I say hi?"...felt so bad and guilty..* Oh Man!!!* SHE didn't care much I guess...from HER expression...felt slightly happy plus sad...and bad!! after that..I so-called rush down the stairs to 'catch' up with her....*of course I didn't*...Debra's gang was downstairs too and she saw HER...went to the toilet up ahead but quickly turned back and headed somewhere and I quickly turned back and find Marcus...am I lousy?...guess so =(( after his conversation...went back down to ask Debra something which I shouted out loud to her as she was kinda far away..."where is she ar??" and...I saw her turning back and walk pass us...turned away as I didn't want to be seen...this time...went a little far...felt so embarassed after that...was like making a fool out of myself ...feel weird as of that moment when I made this two mistakes in less than 3 minutes...till now..couldn't stop scolding myself for making these stupid, irrelevant and unforgivable mistakes...I hope this wouldn't affect you much..although it affects me alot...wanted to say lotsa things to you..but didn't have the mentality to bring it to you...*I really miss you alot these weeks and possibly months...the likes I have for you grew more and more..really want to have the opportunity to know you more...have nice chats often in any way...although I would be able to see you almost everyday and especially more today...will want to see you more as school is closing soon and doubt that I will have anymore chance unless I ask you out and you willingly go...should know who am I mentioning about...really want you to let me have a chance...always on my mind...Miss You!! *
brakes applied at |4:06 PM|
